you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I checked into jail on foursquare
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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