The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
