so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I want a musical about memes.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
