you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
