How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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