The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize