youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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