i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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