She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
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