I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
