my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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