When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
