I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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