somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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