a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
