So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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