After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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