you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Randomize