I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize