I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
