nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize