In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
