Porn is love you can see.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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