i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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