Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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