i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
