"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Randomize
