break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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