well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Randomize
