Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
