Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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