I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I wish you could order shots online.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize