Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
