You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Randomize
