I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Randomize
