I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Randomize
