Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Two words: blizzard sex
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
