So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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