sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Randomize
