gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Randomize
