we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
