Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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