Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
