R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
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