so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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