So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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