I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
