Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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