You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
