when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize