he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
