She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
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