dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Randomize
