I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
