trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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