So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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