I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Randomize
