WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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