I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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