I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Randomize
